It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
