i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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