Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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