I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
