I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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