rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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