tell your sister to shave her snatch
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Randomize
