She's JV to your varsity
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
