my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize