This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
