Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Mom said you looked used
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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