i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize