So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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