I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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