so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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