Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
