Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
