I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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