So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
