When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
