I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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