I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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