i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
