arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
please come you make the beer taste better
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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