I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
