he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
