I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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