Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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