I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
