Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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