Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
