I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my being single is dangerous.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
