So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
