WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
