I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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