Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
