he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
What a dumb baby whore.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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