You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
