I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
