would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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