apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
