there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
