He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
