i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
