It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
