Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
