Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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