We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
