Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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