I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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