i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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