I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
