Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
