You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
