Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
