sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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